Ron Foreman

A boat was docked in a tiny Newfoundland fishing village. A tourist from Toronto complimented the Newfie fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. ‘Not very long,’ answered the Newfie.
‘But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?’ asked the Torontonian.
The Newfie explained [...]

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into [...]

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Political Science for Dummies
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The [...]

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